Moonlight and Madness

Your eyes pour the moonlight on my path as I flip mine again to you. Within the lifeless of the nighttime, I stroll with my household, away from my house, my road, my city, and what was until yesterday- my nation.

There are different households with us. Snaking their approach to Lahore railway station. In concern, ache, and certainty that their lives usually are not theirs anymore. It may be lower, morphed, or smoked out inside a matter of seconds. Even when they get on that practice to Amritsar and arrive there in a single piece, they'd simply be a wisp of what they as soon as have been.

I stroll. With a volcano in my chest the place my coronary heart was. My coronary heart is left crying on that terrace. The terrace was the place we used to satisfy ourselves beneath the moonlight. When it was nonetheless the moon that lit up the nighttime. When your head coated in hijab was nonetheless in my attain. And the moon in my cupped palms was nonetheless in your attain.

I carry a small load on me again as others. It would assist us in attending to a brand new nation that's about to be my nation. And construct a brand new life. From the ruins of a life that has been uprooted.

The air continues to be. An uncommon gust of wind brings the acrid smoke. And wails. From individuals unknown. From the far finish of the city that I can not name mine. I doubt if it could ever be yours both. You could be too numb to its embrace.

My household strikes in a huddle. Alone, amongst a sea of individuals. Clutching one another’s palms. As if we could possibly be extra misplaced than we already are. My father, mom, brothers, and sisters are watchful, wanting again each now and then-half anticipating the earth they're strolling on to swallow them.

We cross the tip of the street, the sting of the city, and the border of the wilderness past. However I do know you're nonetheless watching me. Together with your eyes as dry as mine, your spirit as damaged as mine, and your coronary heart attempting to console itself on that terrace.

The terrace I can by no means return to. And you might by no means return to.

All as a result of a person drawing a line. Quashing the hearts to decide on a facet; pulling the threads it had fashioned until they snapped, shattering it. Brushing the fragments beneath the carpet of darkness.

I've walked to the brink of what held us collectively. After this flip, you will be unable to see the speck that I've to turn into now. The speck that has entered the vortex is created by time.

Will we ever meet once more? I don’t know. However know this, until there may be pores and skin on my again and breath in my lungs, the air around me will whisper just one identification – Yas…min.

***

When the information of your loved ones leaving the city made no ripples in my household, I knew we have been by no means meant to dwell collectively.

I leaped up the staircase to the terrace, to satisfy you for one final time. You have been there. Forlorn. The complete moon weighed down on us. You didn’t dare to cup him to present me.

You simply uttered three words- “Jasmine, forgive me”. It made my world crumble around me, slowly, one brick at a time. I didn’t say a factor. There was nothing left to say.

You left. With your loved ones. Together with many others. Turning you're again to me. Strolling away from a brand new nation that had turned its again on you.

You didn’t look again. Until you reached the very fringe of the drop from the place you can by no means climb again. Not in close to the future.

I hoped you'll keep secure. Whenever you walked by means of the rubble and dodged the murderous mobs baying for blood. Whenever you squeezed into the practice. Until you reached Amritsar.

I do know will probably be a tough life for you. You'll have to discover a new place to name your own home. New job to maintain your loved ones. And a brand new coronary heart to begin making threads. Tying you to new soil, individuals and life.

I want you to discover somebody to present the moon to. If not on a terrace, possibly by the campfire; to giggle with and share your tales earlier than partition. And by no means stumble at my identity when doing so.

I assumed I might by no means return to the terrace. However you see, that's the factor in regards to the individuals who get left behind. They must revisit the terraces, homes, and streets that led to their hearts shattering into 1,000,000 shards. And smile, even because the shards pierce their soul.

Time will circulate. Upstream. For me. However, it is going to circulate nonetheless.

A younger lady can't dwell alone. Not in this city. There can be talks of my nikah. It is going to be to an excellent man. There is no such thing as escaping it. I hope I might have grown a brand new coronary heart by then. One which wouldn’t beat the syllables of your name- Ra-aj. For his sake.

Seasons will change and I can be a mom to the youngsters of a not-so-new nation. They are going to be taught about how grotesque the partition was and the way the opposite group was traitors and needed to be pushed away. They are going to develop with the venom of their hearts for the footprints you left behind.

If I develop a voice again, I'll inform them- no house is extra wrecked than the one the place brothers flip into enemies.

I'll nonetheless have hope in my coronary heart. No, not about ever assembly you once more. However, the line that ripped us aside will turn blurred and the indignant little males can be lulled within the vortex of time. Perhaps not in our lifetime, however sometimes.

Until then know this. I by no means believed the moon could possibly be mine, however, I by no means doubted you desirous to pluck it for me. Some issues are past the attain of strains drawn by the man- moonlight and insanity.